Review: Rivals by Jilly Cooper
Master Brew
Boom
STRIDE ON STRIDE ON IN MAJESTY
STRIDE SISTERS WE ARE SO BACK
S-S-S-S-STRIDE
Only THE RT. HONOURABLE JUSTINE GREENING can STOP the BORISWAVE
Its 2025. And a flirty, flitty, buxom young M.P from the Conservative Party and her band of mischievous advisors is going to put Britain Back on Track.
BOOM
BONK for BRITAIN
SILENCE PROGNAT
S-S-S-S-STRIDE
DAVID TENNANT has EMBRACED The BARBOUR JACKET OF NATIONALISM.
THE TARDIS has been CANNIBALISED
SIR RODGE – NO! — YOU FORGOT TO REGENERATE!
The HERO we NEED not the HERO we DESERVE
*SHOT OF GREAT ROLLING MOUNDS OF FAT AND MUSCLE ON EQUINE BACKSIDES*
The HORSE shall RETURN to BRITAIN
BONK for BRITAIN
“...”
NOOOOOOOOOOO I DON’T WANT MEL STRIDE TO BRING BACK 50p MILKY WAY NATIONALISM I WANT 10% GDP GROWTH INSTEAD — “The Contrarian Soyboy”
MYEIIIIIIIIIIRRGHHHHHHHHHHH. *contrarian virgins die instantaneously from epic sauce overdose*
The Sincerity Ponies rather like My Little Ponies
BOOM
THE FARAGE has been BARRAGED – after turning GAY!!!
NUFF said
S-S-S-S-STRIDE
Holy SMOKES – BIBI has joined the HIGH TORY GANG
*shitty 90s T.V music plays*
"Now, for the folks at home. Who is Mel Stride."