Free Constables to Sir Keir ‘standing back and standing by’
Charles Guelph was sentenced to death at the Sovereign Base Areas of Akrotiri and Dhekelia today after court martial by a special military tribunal.
Sources close to Commandant General of the Royal Marines Gwyn Jenkins say that the erstwhile Monarch first ‘begged on his knees’ to be pardoned by Sir Keir, making a formal plea to the Lord Protector.
However, as the death sentence was read out in one of the few air conditioned rooms on that warm Mediterranean colony, Charles showed his true colours, starting to curse and spit blood.
“He claimed that ‘the inheritance tax is totally unfair and unjust’, and swore allegiance to ‘Ba’al Hamman – the Ringed Father’.”
“Ironically, these are the same sort of moralistic arguments they accuse us of making when it comes to human rights.” General Sir Gwyn said, with a wry smile.
Sources close to the Prime Minister say he was “shocked” and “hurt” by the revelation the Royal Family secretly worships ancient Phoenecian deities:
“Child-sacrifice is Just Wrong. That’s why my government is bringing in the 100% inheritance tax to break the noxious tax-debt cycle of Tory-Reform governments which is ruining our younger generation’s future and driving immigration.”
“It is time for the evil Satanic Lockdown Brexit Cult to get with the programme, quite frankly, otherwise we’re going to have to use the full powers of this Government to make them get with the programme and stay on the right course.”
Free Constables sworn to uphold Magna Carta have been authorised to begin operations across the country ‘mopping up deep state resistance’ to the New Britain.
The Storm is here.