Introducing: Prolapse YooKay

A new series by J’accuse

ABOUT US

Prolapse UK is the only political party in Britain created for and by people who not only failed to become Conservative politicians, but who also failed to become Reform politicians. We aren’t just the sub-establishment. We are the sub-sub establishment. And we have no idea how to buy suits that fit our body. Fear us.

We stand for a different sort of politics. We won’t shy away from the difficult questions, like the proper role of women in the home, the decadence of Modern liberalism and the historicity of the Holocaust.

And we’ve got some very detailed policy proposals for our plans to turn Britain into a Papal state which serves the interests of patriotic high-trust, Anglo-Celtic red squirrels. Policies such as making real life more like our favourite RPGs such as Oblivion, where men of Honour, of Brotherhood are rewarded by fair maidens with hands in Catholic marriage.

So listen up you sluts, because it’s about time you covered up.

MEET THE TEAM

Bloopert Slowe

Chairman of Nottingham Forest basketball club. Just wanted to put up a golliwog in his pub, now he’s somehow ended up in charge of a podcast network cum political party. Cannot remember if he has had breakfast yet, nor if he had dinner the night before. The last person you would ask to find out what day of the week it is. First man in Britain to make a telephone call.

Garrison Kitt

Winner of the 2024 Douglas Murray impersonator championship. Lips permanently pursed into a quizzical grin. Editor-at-large of the Continental Conservative. Director-General of the Bow group. Lieutenant-Captain of the Mallard. Known to sit in plush old looking chairs and hold forth. Words in the Critic.

Cuthbert Down-syndrome

Collector of tie-clips. Experience includes being a self-appointed spokesperson for the ‘Reform Youth’. Has never worn a pair of black shoes in his life. Has almost appeared on the Apprentice three years in a row. Words in the Critic.

Sammy Goblinson

Senior fellow at the Budapest institute. 6,000 hours in Team Fortress Two. Largest comic book collection in West Kent. Author of several self-published novels. Streamer, who represents the base of every political party he has attached himself to over the years. Expert at reading text and speaking the words aloud. Words in the Critic.

Ollie Gwoucester.

Has never successfully had an FOI request returned to him by a government department. Once accidentally called Nigel Farage ‘dad’ in front of his classroom in secondary school, to peals of howling laughter. Words in the Critic.

James Jameson

Cigar aficionado and boxing enthusiast. Orthodox style. Small but he’s quick on his feet, and packs a decent punch for a little fella. Tricky as well. Don’t lend him a tenner. Words in the Critic.

More to follow…